Although this is my ministry page and I typically blog about discipleship, leadership, and faith-centered topics, I wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts from a more secular perspective. What I’m about to talk through is relevant to people in all kinds of industries and situations, and it’s something I encounter regularly in one of my businesses. The principles may not be “ministry,” but they absolutely impact how people steward opportunities, relationships, and wisdom in everyday life.
I recently ministered at a church, and one of the main points in my sermon was this: stop negotiating with the darkness. Right after preaching that message, I found myself in several business conversations where I was negotiating agreements with people who were, quite literally, negotiating in the dark. The timing was too perfect not to notice, and it sparked the idea for this blog post.
In one of my businesses, I negotiate contracts constantly. It’s become such a regular part of my week that I can almost predict how a conversation will unfold based on the first two minutes. And over time, I’ve noticed a pattern—one that’s both fascinating and frustrating.
A surprising number of people walk into a negotiation with no real awareness of the market they’re negotiating in. They’ve positioned themselves in a way that paints them into a corner, convinced they have bargaining power when, in reality, they’re holding onto expectations that simply don’t exist outside their own imagination.
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It’s not arrogance. It’s not stubbornness. It’s a lack of basic market awareness.
When someone refuses to understand what the market actually looks like—what the going rates are, what competitors are offering, what buyers are prioritizing—they unintentionally do themselves a disservice. They negotiate from a place of fiction instead of fact. And once you anchor yourself to unrealistic expectations, every reasonable offer feels like an insult, every counterproposal feels like a threat, and every compromise feels like a loss.
I’ve watched people sabotage perfectly good deals because they were negotiating based on what they wished the market was, not what it is. They end up stuck, frustrated, and confused about why things aren’t going their way.
Meanwhile, the people who take the time to understand the landscape—those who know the norms, the ranges, the leverage points—walk into negotiations with clarity. They know where they can push, where they should hold, and where they need to adjust. They don’t get painted into corners because they never start in one.
Market awareness doesn’t guarantee you’ll get everything you want. But it does guarantee that you’ll negotiate from a position of reality, which is the only place real leverage exists.
Six Pointers for Negotiating a Contract
- Know the Market Before You Speak Research the going rates, common terms, and industry standards. Walking in blind is the fastest way to lose leverage.
- Identify Your Real Leverage—Not Your Imagined Leverage Confidence is great, but leverage comes from facts: demand, scarcity, performance, relationships, and timing.
- Understand What the Other Side Actually Values People don’t negotiate for the same reasons. Some want speed, others want price, others want reliability. Tailor your approach.
- Avoid Anchoring Yourself to Unrealistic Expectations If your expectations aren’t grounded in market reality, you’ll reject good deals and chase bad ones.
- Be Clear About Your Non‑Negotiables Know what you absolutely must have and what you can flex on. Flexibility is power when used intentionally.
- Communicate Like a Professional, Not a Combatant Negotiation isn’t war. It’s problem‑solving. The more collaborative your tone, the more options you create.